


Not a fair price to pay

by Jackb



Series: To Pay the Price [2]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Aziraphale is jumpy, Cherub to Principality, Crowley is nice, Kindness, M/M, Trauma, demotion, light description of mutilation, might feel ooc but it's because they don't know each other well yet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-08
Updated: 2019-07-08
Packaged: 2020-06-24 16:30:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19727449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jackb/pseuds/Jackb
Summary: Crowley and Aziraphale meet for the second time, and Crowley is sorry.





	Not a fair price to pay

« I’m sorry. »

Aziraphale jolted away and quickly turned toward the person who had just talked to him. It was the demon, the same one from Eden. He took a step away and looked him up and down, but this Crawly, if he remembered rightly, was not menacing nor on the verge of attacking, just like the last time. He was not a threat, actually, his expression shown sadness and concern. It felt odd to Aziraphale, as he felt a ping of shame and guilt took him. He hadn’t sensed him come when he should have. He was an Angel of the Lord for God sake, he shouldn’t let the enemy surprise him like that, but for his case, the Demon didn’t give away much evil.

Under the wondering eyes of the Demon, the Angel finally realized he had been talked to.

« You.. You’re sorry ? » He asked with hesitation and a bit of aggressivity, he was sure to have misheard it. A demon apologizing ? It made no sense. Couldn’t this demon act like how demon were supposed to act ?

« Uh.. Yes, I’m sorry. » Crowley voice felt pretty concerned and soft.

« What are you.. Sorry for ? » Aziraphale wondered a bit cold, putting distance between them.

« Your demotion. »

  


Aziraphale opened his mouth, he wanted to say something but didn’t know quite what, too shocked. Why in Heaven would a demon be sorry for him for losing rank ? It didn’t make any sense, not a single Angel had been sorry for him when he was punished for failing his duty in the Garden of Eden, so why would a Demon be ? While searching his words, he kept a close eye on the demon who was now walking around him, scrutinizing him. He hated it. Hated being seen and watched since his demotion.

« A Principality ? »

« Yes. »

« But.. You were a Cherub ! » Crowley winced outraged. Terror, anger and sorrow marked his face which, once again, bewildered Aziraphale.

« I was. » He answered, trying to keep his voice from breaking or giving too much away, he wanted to keep as much dignity as he was able to. It was demeaning and the memory and sensations from his recent demotion were still fresh in his mind, he didn’t wish to be remembered the pain and humiliation to be seen not only by God but by every other Angels.

His answer left a silence behind, a respectful one, though, not for long.

« Did they.. » Crowley hesitated. « Did it fuse or did they.. Cut ? »

  
Aziraphale lowered his eyes and clenched his jaws. When a Cherub lost his rank there were two ways to proceed. The four heads and two pairs of wings could fuse and take the form of a lower rank, or everything that was not necessary anymore was cut away. Mutilated into another form.

The last method was the most painful and cruel and it was impossible to go back to an upper rank later, whatever was lost would be lost forever. Only God was able to restore the original form, but it was not something God ever did.

« Cut. » Aziraphale answered bitterly. « Punishment for failing my duty. » Memory flashed back to him and he felt again three of his heads being cut, one by one, the terrible sensation, the sound of it crashing on Heaven floor, the smell of his blood coating the place all around him, the abandonment he felt. « It was deserved. » He added to convince himself and wash away the memory, accept the loss as he hid his shaking hand behind his back.

Crowley shook his head.

« It was not ! » It was sincere and it made Aziraphale sick.

He always felt he had paid a way too high price. He didn’t have to lose that much, did he ? But nobody thought that way in Heaven, the acceptance of his new role was pushed hard on him, he had no room to protest it, nor to complain about it. He was just a principality now, and he didn’t wish to fell lower in the hierarchy.

« They made an example out of you.. » His soft voice felt like a punch to Aziraphale. Why this demon was so kind to him ?

« What is your point ! » He barked harshly. His reaction slightly disconcerted the Demon who changed his weight from one foot to another and tensed a bit.

« What I’m saying.. is that it was not fair and I’m sorry.. They did that to you. »

« Why would you care, feeling happy to have a weaker opponent ? Sneering at me, pitying me ! Oh what a pleasure it must be huh ? » Again he was aggressive, diving into the possibility to be mean and angry about his situation. He couldn’t in Heaven nor in the face of any Angel, but here on Earth, facing a Demon, he had the liberty to spit his venom. Nobody would reprimand him for it.

Crowley gently shook his head. « No. » He simply said with calm.

It almost broke Aziraphale, this Demon was truly sincere, he was really sorry for him. How ? Why ? It stopped him on the spot. There was no mockery, he didn’t feel any, didn’t read any on his face either. He just paused stunned.

« Why ? » He asked, all anger lost in the hundred questions that flooded his mind.

« I know what it’s like to lose something. »

« I didn’t fall ! » He snarled, jumping back on aggressivity.

« Of course you didn’t, but it’s similar enough for me to-to understand what you have lost.. »

« And feel sorry for it ! » Aziraphale cut, still bitter.

« Yes. It’s not pity you know. »

« I’m not like you ! I’m still an Angel ! You can’t compare our situation ! »

« And I’m not ! But.. uh..urg wit.. what I’m saying is.. » He stopped and sighed. Silence fell back between them.

Aziraphale nodded after a moment. He accepted it. The kindness. It was from a Demon sure, but at least someone did feel sorry for his demotion. At least someone, just like him, believed what happened to him wasn’t fair. It made him feel awful and a bit better too.

They both observed the landscapes in front of them in a familiar, peaceful moment until the Demon walked away.

« ‘Have to go. » He simply said, a looked at Aziraphale with kind and sorry eyes, again, then left.

Aziraphale stuck his arms against him, in a protective gesture, he still felt odd, naked and raw from his recent loss, he wasn’t sure he would ever be truly used to it. Nobody seemed to understand how he felt, well, maybe one person did.

**End.**


End file.
